Day by day

How does a person not get frustrated an sad when they have to watch their little boy suffer with seizures all day long and continually get hurt over and over ? When medications fail to control his seizures, when Dr's just raise their shoulders and say we don't know.... When this has been going on for 9.5 months and your little boy has only gone 6 days with no seizures out of them 9.5 months. When your little boy is now occurring brain damage because of all his seizures, but we aren't sure of all the damage yet. Having to watch your child choke on food because eating which we all take for granted if made more difficult by seizures . Quinn chokes a lot on his food because he goes into a absence seizure or drop seizure while eating. When a person has to beg for drug coverage for your little child because the province and insurance don't want to cover the cost, but abortions are covered by health care. As parents making sacrifice after sacrifice for your child and your family trying to do what you think is best for everyone. As a mother trying not to feel guilt for not being able to protect and make your child feel better and also in the back of your mind always feeling guilty that maybe I did something wrong when I was pregnant or when he was little that caused this cruel disease.
We all face challenges in life... I just don't understand why some challenges are just so much more challenging. Sometimes I wonder if its because my children are the world to me and the most precious to me.  Maybe its to learn how to be self less, learn humility, learn grate fullness, learn compassion, and learn to love no matter what. To teach that things/stuff don't really matter in life, health is what is craved and longed for and in the end all that matters is family and love.  Something I have also learned through this all is in the end what really matters ??  Not redecorating your house, debating where to go for your next vacation, planning your next party or event, worrying about what OTHER people think of you and your life. I still struggle with most of these things in my life though. Not that I have a chance to do most of them :) I have lost a lot of friends ( not that I had a lot in the beginning haha ), I guess lost may not be exactly the right term but people get sick of hearing about Quinn, nothing ever really changes in my life it is always about Quinn and the next drug, seizures and more seizures. So the phone calls have lessened and almost stopped, I sometimes wonder why I have a phone then I remember yes to call 911 if needed and text the few people in my life :) It is also hard myself to be friends with people with healthy children. It is so hard to relate to them and I end up jealous of their healthy children and easier life. I wish I had the problems they complain about.
So I guess I still don't know how to answer my questions I asked :) Hence taking it day by day and realizing that there are some people out there that do care, some that show they care more and others weren't meant to be in our lives.