Life changes in the past 3 months

Who knew so  much could change in 3 months ! Our lives have completely changed with Quinn going from a normal 3 year old boy to a special needs child. Myself going from thinking I was still somewhat "young" to having grey hairs all coming through and now having to dye my hair all the time to cover them up. My brain turning to mush and not able to focus on anything. Going from never having the girls be gone to having them away from home for 4 weeks in the last 3 months. Thinking my life was somewhat in our control to it totally not being in our control. My 6 year old daughter turning into a girl with teenage attitude. Looking at my life and thinking wow who knew so much could happen in 7 years. I went from care free and living life to married, 3 kids, having to move way to much and try and settle in, being alone with 2 babies in a strange new land while husband was away for 3 months becoming his dream job (which he thought at the time). So..maybe I have hit my mid life crisis ? Or it could be everything we have gone through the last few months. It is such a bizarre thing to lose complete control of your lives. The other day when we had funnel clouds in the sky and I could see them coming down I didn't even have any fear left in me. No fear at all.... I felt like ..you know what bring it on because you have thrown so much at me in the last 3 months why not a tornado...lol... yes sounds crazy I know... Just so odd how I go from having fear to no fear... I don't know if that is from exhaustion or other things.... I don't believe it is complete trust because I know I don't completely trust in my life... I have gained some trust but not 100% yet. Its like I am in a comatose state in my life.... nothing fazes me anymore and I feel like its just one shot after the other. Yes this all sounds depressing doesn't it... well its not totally depressing to me just how I feel most of the time. Its hard to have to listen to your little boy cry and scream for food and you can't give it too him because he can't have that food because of his extreme diet. It is so draining to watch him suffer through his seizures. So sad to see the sparkle kind of disappear in his eyes... it is still there at times but sometimes he just looks so tired and dead in the eyes. But I have to remain positive even though it is really hard too when the seizures keep happening an life is out of our control with Quinn and other things.