Trying not to be angry

This morning we headed into the city first thing as Quinn's bloodwork needed to be done. He was amazing as always with getting his blood drawn. Then as we were leaving the hospital and almost at our van he had a big tonic clonic seizure.  It lasted about 3 mins and then he slept in the van for a bit. Thankfuly I had ice with me from his lunch to put on his HUGE goose egg. He also scratched his knees. He went 3 days with no seizures so go figure the one time he doesn't have his helmet on he has to have one and hit the concrete. He cried so much and he looks so painful. I wish I could take away his pain and stop this hurt. I am so angry at this disorder and seizures.... WHY Quinn and WHY us... WHY can't it be fixed.... I wish I wasn't so angry at this condition.... it just kills me to have to watch him suffer over an over. He is such a good boy too... he rarely complains when at meal times everyone is eating food and he has his tiny meal of whipping cream, oil, medications, little bit of fruit and little bit of ham. I can see the hurt and frustration in his eyes though but he doesn't say anything. That hurt is killing me slowly as well.... It is sooo horrible not being able to help him or "fix" him. As a mother I feel like I am failing him because I can't just fix this. Its been over 3 months of this already... a few months into a life long battle.... So I need to work on getting my anger and frustrations dealt with but not sure how.