This past week I have been fighting to get through everyday since this battle we are fighting will have been going on for 8 weeks tomorrow. I don't know if it is just hard to get through everyday because I can't accept the fact our lives have changed or accepting the fact I have to give up everything I have worked on so hard with my business an hobbies. I know I just need to stop pouting and get on with our *new* way of life but it is so hard to accept this life an all the challenges ahead. I also am very stressed about the ketogenic diet which starts on the 28th, and stressed about sending the girls away again. Emma said to me last night, Mom I don't want to go away, I want to stay here because I am going to miss my friends. :( It is so flippin hard to accept as a mother you can't care for your children. Quinn has taken my whole life and time the last 8 weeks and hopefully someday that won't be the case if we can get his seizures under control. I hate sending the girls away...It isn't the way things are supposed to be. SO this is why I have started my words on paper sticky tacked to my wall above my water cooler( bc our water cooler takes forever to fill your glass so I thought it would be a good place to put the happy quotes). I have found several quotes to encourage me when I am feeling blah and wanting to jump off a bridge. My favorite so far is "' My strength is made perfect in weakness II Corinthians'' .
The positive things going in our lives right now is that we have found out with have a great church family and great neighbors in the area. From the meals that they have delivered to words of wisdom, cards and just stopping by to say hi. (ps if you are going to stop by and say hi be prepared to see me in a state nobody should see me in... I don't find the need to get dresses or do my hair if I am not going out haha ). You sure find out who your true friends are in a time of a struggle !
The Dr increased Quinn's medication again yesterday in hopes of trying to get the seizures under control. Also they booked him in for the 24 hour EEG in the hospital on the 28th when he goes into the hospital for the diet. Quinn hasn't thrown his medication up in almost 2 days so that is great. I was ready to give up the other day because I would work soooo hard all day to get food into him because he doesn't like to eat anymore. Then come medication time I would finally get all his meds down and then he would gag and throw EVERYTHING up and back to the beginning for me of forcing his meds down. If it was 1 or 2 pills it wouldn't be so bad but its 6 pills at night and 5 in the AM.
We also got the garden completely planted this week ! I felt the need to add more to my work load because that is how I roll haha... BUT the kids did enjoy helping plant everything!
Quinn is still having seizures everyday. He took a few good hits to the head and chin yesterday, poor little man !
Quinn goes to the allergist on Wednesday next week, so we shall see what the Dr says. My brother's wedding is also next week but I won't be able to make it to Alberta for the wedding. In part to Kevin having to work and not be able to get time off and also because of how many seizures Quinn is still having. I also don't think I could deal with all the people at the wedding... I can handle small groups but not a huge group. Coming from my family there is no small gatherings.... Since I have 7 brothers and 2 sisters and my future sister in law comes from a large family also.
Hope you all have a great weekend !
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